Unknown

Hi, I'm blogging right now here at our library. We just had our group meeting earlier and my friend and I resorted to researching here instead. We have three and a half hours to spare and well, Internet use here is free. I just finished searching through Google about my given topic from our video report: Are Filipinos vain and narcissistic? and I have nothing else to do as I am killing time till my first class for today at 4pm.

By the way, this post is entitled Unknown since I have no idea what I am supposedly blogging about. I am not so sure if I want to go into details about my topic since I will be biased and all. I guess I will just have to share about anything that is going on in my mind.

So, before I started this post, I got the chance to read a close friend's blog post about something. I was in total awe because I know it is not her thing to blog or write as a mere hobby (unlike what I love doing, hence resulting to this blog) and honestly I think she is far better than I am, maybe in creatively putting words and stitching them into sentences, then paragraphs and finally into a whole single post. This is no false modesty or whatever, it is true, as long as I am concerned. Then again, having my diary for two years here with me, where I usually jot down most of my random. wild and melodramatic thoughts, made me realize that "authentic" and awe-worthy "posts" or whatever you call these are usually at their best when written straight from the heart with pure sincerity - not written for pleasing or impressing people. I guess that is where she has an edge against me. More often than not, I make blog posts for the reason of having one, not really considering into account what I am actually in the mood for. But hey, I said more often than not and usually those posts are those photo blog posts which do not need explicit words to describe them.

Anyway, going back, my point is I actually got insecure a bit. What if all this time (about five years now) I am not good at what I think I am good at? What if it is just me who get pleased with what I write? And all this time, I am not even good at the one thing I am proudest of myself. Okay, this too much thinking is making my lose tons of confidence and self-esteem. I guess I should not think way too much. Haha!

So, I'm still here, obviously. And it is a battle to type all these because my fingers are almost frozen and it is a wrong time to wear a dress. Seriously, it is too cold, and it is too ironic since I love it when it is and now I am disliking it. Anyway, there's still a whole hour left to kill, but I cannot type any further.

P.S. I am going to blog again later when I get back at the dorm, and I am not going to write merely to impress anyone but myself. So yeah. ;)