When you're sad, write.

For some reason I have the urge to blog away whenever I'm down or so. Maybe that's how writers (even frustrated ones) cope. That's how stories are born. But, in my case, there's no story actually. Just a one liner: Graduation. (It may be 'thesis' too, but let's be general.)

I'm becoming helpless as the months pass and the days fly away faster than you can say 'bye.' I'm already delayed by one semester and I cannot afford to make it two. I have to graduate this December. I just can't burden my family for another five months. Seriously I don't know what I'll do if I don't graduate this semester. (P.S. I'm not suicidal, so don't worry about me.)

What's frustrating is that I only have half the power to avoid this unacceptable fate. I mean, I'm doing the best I can in finishing my thesis, but how can you force people to answer your questionnaire? And how can you even manage to make them answer one if they cannot see your message on Facebook because you aren't "connected"? See? See?? I have little or no power over this. So far I managed to acquire 54 responses from these kind-hearted strangers (bless them) but unfortunately I need 150. Frankly, I don't know what to do anymore.

Thesis. Thesis. Thesis. Why you do this... Ugh. So, yeah, I just want to vent somewhere because I'm afraid I've been sickeningly mopey on Twitter. I guess this kinda helped because my head does not feel like it's gonna explode anytime soon and my heart feels tons lighter. (Or maybe because I jogged last night, which really helps by the way.)

Some of my respondents told me "God bless on your thesis!" or "Good luck!" and most often than not I replied, "Thanks! I need that." I really do. God please help me. I need You.

Where It Shines Bright (Like a Diamond)

Sometimes things are too much to bear. I know they happen for a reason, but you can't simply forget them unless you sleep all day. Believe me, I'd want to sleep all day, but that is not an option. That's what cowards and losers do. They hide and they give up. I know I've done a lot of things that I regret and a few that might have messed my life a little, but I am brave. I know I will overcome everything that is bringing me down today. I may be stressed, kinda depressed and heartbroken, but tomorrow, or soon, I will be okay. God is brewing a plan and I'm giving Him all my trust. No matter how bad things get, there will always be a bright side. Besides, it will all make sense someday. Right now, I will let go and let God.

Surround yourself with goat, er, good people

For the past months I've been feeling lost, broken, lonely or in other words, a "mess." Probably because I were (and I'm still) in grief. Losing my grandmother, who's one of the most important people in my life, is not something that one easily forgets. I can't imagine how people move on. Yes, I still laugh and forget for a minute that I just didn't lose a part of me but the aftermath usually is felt at night. Random realizations, reminiscing of memories and deep thoughts are usually my midnight snacks. I'm not really sure how I could overcome this. I seriously have a hard time sleeping and during extreme cases I would even count in French just to make myself sleep already. Those were not my good days yet I didn't let myself drown in misery. I constantly asked for the Lord's guidance and that He or maybe someone would save me from being lost. Somehow He answered my prayer. Lately I feel much like myself before I was broken. I still miss my grandmother but I don't breakdown as often as before. The Lord answered my prayer by giving me friends who distract me from all the bad stuff. I feel happier with them and grateful that their presence calms my problematic soul. It turns out I don't need a love life to feel whole again. I don't need a special someone to save me from drowning. Blessings come in different ways and I'm thankful my clingy friends came into my life wherein I needed them the most. Love you, goats. Meh.

Multi-Faced

So, I always have very out-of-the-blue thoughts/realizations and this is one of them: I'm quite active in a handful of social networks and I think I'm a different person in each one. Omigod, am I weird?

Here's a summary of a very cliche "different sides of me":

Facebook: The Good Girl/Daughter/Niece

Instagram: Feeling Foodie/Frustrated Baker/Artist or Calligrapher Wannabe

Pinterest: Fashionista Wannabe/Dream Builder via Wishlists (Pin/Boards)

Shelfari: Classic Bookworm

Tumblr: Damsel-in-Distress/Depressed Forever-Alone Nobody

Twitter: Medyo "Conyo" Hipster/Antisocial  Freak Who Rants About Everything



Oh god, I'm weird. Haha!

Viva Il Papa!

I am so happy and grateful that for the past few days the whole country welcomed our dear Pope Francis with open arms and sincere hearts. God has truly blessed the Philippines for endowing us this precious opportunity. Everything I see on the news, Twitter and Facebook has something to do with the papal visit and my heart warms tremendously whenever I see Pope Francis' jolly face. Even if I am not given the chance to see him in the flesh, I am already joyful and filled with gratitude and love. I know I am already beyond blessed merely because Pope Francis has showed us how he cares and cherishes every single child of God, even the non-believers. He does not single out any person, and that's one of the great things I love about him. May the Philippines continue to show compassion, respect, discipline and love towards one another. I hope everyone, especially the VIPs like the government officials, would not only act his/her very best because of Pope Francis. Not only that, the rest of the world is in an arm's length and is observant of the country's behavior. I hope this is a beginning of change, where people would be open-minded and act accordingly because it is the right thing to do, not because everyone is watching.